Today is December 13, 2011. Just a few days from now, I am officially married for one whole month. Until today, there are still moments especially when I wake up when I can't believe that I am married. Everything seemed like a dream. But it's actually happening. I am married.
I had a lot of adjustments for the past few weeks. I remember the day after the wedding when I had to go back home to pack my stuff. It was the most difficult thing for me to do that day. After all the happiness that I felt on my wedding day, I felt my world crumbling down. My old world, that is. I cried myself to sleep for almost an hour in my room. I terribly missed my family at that moment. I asked God why I needed to "separate". It even came to a point wherein I wanted to investigate what Genesis 2:24 meant:
"That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." NIV
I thought to myself, it says that only the man will leave his father and mother. So maybe it meant that the man can join in the woman's family. I was reasoning myself out of my situation. But that is not God's will.
During our first week together, I was so thankful to God for Brian. There were days when I would just feel so sad that I would suddenly cry because I miss my family. He was there to comfort me and assure me of our life together. Things got smoother and much more bearable after that. I guess that's how marriage works - when one is weak, the other half pulls him/her up.
I also experienced a lot of adjustments. Especially when Brian and I returned to work. I had to wake up early to prepare our breakfast and lunch, just like what my mom used to do for me and my sister when I was still single. Now that I'm the one doing it, I realized how much effort and love my mom pours out to us. I also realized how important it is to show appreciation. It can go a long way in inspiring a person to do something for another.
So what's life like for me now that I'm married? It's both sweet and bitter. Just like wine. And just like wine, it gets better through the years.
Today is November 17.
It's 1:24AM
and I'm not even sleepy.
I've got only one day left.
I NEED MY BEAUTY REST
But there's still so much to do.
I just pray that everything will be just fine tomorrow.
May God hold everything together in His hands.
Here's another bridal makeup look I tried earlier. This is based on Jen's Asian Bridal Makeup Tutorial. Next to Michelle Phan, I think she's one of the best online makeup gurus. I really like how she pulled off this look cause it brought attention to her eyes. She also used this look for her own wedding :-) Overall, I think this makeup look is good for an afternoon wedding ceremony and an evening reception :-)
Products Used: Face
1. Maybelline Clear Smooth Minerals BB Cream for foundation
2. La Faerie's Medium Camo Quad Concealer
3. Cover Girl Professional Loose Powder in Translucent Honey
4. Clean&Clear Pressed Powder in Medium
Eye (see picture above)
1. Base color for the lower lid - Fashion 21 48Color Set - Matte Dark Brown shade2. Outer V base color - Fashion 21 48Color Set - Sheer Copper shade.
3. Outer V shadow color and Brow Bone Highlights- Prestige Cosmetics Beauty Bar Eyeshadow Palette (FCE-01 Earthling) - Dark brown and Sheer Very Light Brown
4. Brow color - IN2IT's Waterproof Eyebrow Colour (ER 01 Eyebrowns) Medium shade
5. Maybelline The Magnum Volum'Express SuperFilm Mascara (not in picture)
6. E.L.F. Eyelid Primer in Champagne
7. Eyeliner - IN2IT's Waterproof Gel Liner in Very Black Shade
Lips and Cheeks
1. E.L.F. Natural Radiance Blusher in Glow
2. IN2IT Lasting Colour Lipstick in Smoked Peach
It has always been an option for me to do my own hair and makeup on my wedding day. Should I or should I not? I'm no professional makeup artist but I've taken up Suesh's Basic Makeup workshop earlier this year, I've watched a lot of makeup tutorials online (yay Michelle Phan! :p), and I love trying out the looks on my own. I don't know if that's enough reason for me to do my own makeup but I'm really considering it. Anyway, today is a holiday and with not much stuff to do, I decided to experiment with some bridal looks. Here is the first look:
Products Used: Face
1. Maybelline Clear Smooth Minerals BB Cream for foundation
2. La Faerie's Medium Camo Quad Concealer
3. Cover Girl Professional Loose Powder in Translucent Honey
4. Clean&Clear Pressed Powder in Medium
Eye (see picture above)
1. Base color - IN2IT's EY06 Tiger (Gold shade)
2. Brow bone and mid-eyelid highlight - Natural Palette from Forever 21 (6th pot)
3. Outer V base color - Fashion 21 48Color Set - Sheer Light Purple shade
4. Outer V shadow color - Fashion 21 48Color Set - Sheer Dark Taupe shade
5. Outer V highlight color - Fashion 21 48Color Set - Matte Light Pink shade
6. Brow color and Eyeliner - IN2IT's Waterproof Eyebrow Colour (ER 01 Eyebrowns) Medium and Dark shade
7. Maybelline The Magnum Volum'Express SuperFilm Mascara (not in picture)
8. E.L.F. Eyelid Primer in Pearl (not in picture)
Lips and Cheeks
1. E.L.F. Natural Radiance Blusher in Glow
2. LipIce Color - Candy Apple
I'm still looking for other hairstyles to complement this look. I just hope that if I finally decide to do this on my own, my hair and makeup will last and survive 'til the reception. :p So, what do you guys think? Should I do my own makeup? :D
One of the exciting things that married-couples-to-be enjoy nowadays is the engagement shoot or more commonly known as the pre-nup pictorial. Brian and I got to experience this a few weeks back and it was the most fun, and yet tiring, day ever! And aside from the pictorial, we also got to shoot our very own mushy music video which will be shown during the reception program. Hahaha! We felt like "artistas" for a day!
There are a lot of things that I learned about this whole experience and one of them is the importance of preparation. Initially, Brian and I planned to have our engagement shoot in a music studio - think retro vintage, grand pianos, speakers, amps, drums, guitars and basses. We tried looking around and we asked friends for some suggestions but it turned out that it would be more expensive to have our shoot in a music studio since they charge rent per hour. So, we finally decided to alter our concept. The music element would still be there but we had to change the venue. Brian's friend, Kuya Yeng, helped us out in asking the admin of Ohana Place, a really nice resort condo in Las Piñas, for a permit. It was actually a blessing in itself because we didn't have to pay any extra fees for the venue anymore :-)
Aside from the venue, planning the "outfits" is really important, too. For the shoot to look cohesive, Brian and I had to make sure we bring "matching" clothes. Haha :p Our photographer told us to bring 5 sets of clothes but we managed to use only 3. I even brought other props like my violin and 2 hats, which unfortunately I forgot to use. Brian brought his bass guitar, too. Man! I can't believe that being an "artista" can be this hard. I even had to sleep earlier the night before to make sure my eyes won't have dark circles. And I avoided salty foods to make sure my face won't look puffy either. How vain! hahah :P And thanks also to my makeup artist, Jem, she was able to help me look fresh and glowing that day, despite the stressful week that I had.
We started the shoot at around 10:30AM that day and finished at around 3:30PM. It was good that the weather was cooperating with us. Thank God for that :-) But Brian and I got really tired after! Ms. Lally of The Lightshapers even told us that it would be more tiring on the wedding day, so the engagement shoot was really just a practice for us. She also said that it's important that we keep ourselves hydrated so that we won't look tired.
Anyway, here are some preview pictures of the shoot. Thanks also to Kuya Jo for joining the shoot and sharing with us some of his shots.
Here's also a preview of some of our video shots taken by The LightShapers. This is not our official teaser video yet, but I'm really happy that they included us in this music video :-)
I don't really win contests. I often join them but never in my entire life did I ever experience to win. So, now, I'm trying this contest thing one more time. And hopefully I win...Kikay Si Maria's Pre-Holiday Giveaway!
Kikay Si Maria is giving away some really good stuff from her sponsors so hopefully...I WIN! :-)
Earlier today, we had our wedding entourage gown fittings. I visualized this day to be an exciting one. A day where all my bridesmaids, secondary sponsors, and flower girls together with my mom, Brian's mom, and my grandmothers could get together. I had this happy picture in my mind. But things didn't really go as I wanted it to be. We left late. Arrived late. Didn't meet the designer. Not every one who's part of my entourage went. And some abrupt changes happened. Everything was just whirling around me. I was excited, happy, pressured and depressed at the same time. You can call me crazy but I think every bride-to-be knows exactly how I feel.
I tried to keep my calm. I kept reminding myself that I shouldn't break down. I kept asking God, praying to Him, to hold the hearts of the people around me - that they would also keep their calm down and just enjoy the fitting. And thank God because they did.
Then, I realized that the pressure is really building up. I'm becoming too emotional. I'm becoming very sensitive. Every single word that people say around me becomes magnified. It's like every word has weight. And that affects me a whole lot, most specially when the voice tones change. As much as I wanted to be calm and be organized, all the more things get messed up. Maybe because I'm such a control freak. Or maybe God is teaching me something - that I should trust Him more than myself. More than Brian. More than my family. More than the people around me.
Well, I guess He really is teaching me something.
Thinking about what happened earlier today, it made me question my purpose of putting up all these preparations. Why am I such a control freak over these small details? Why do I want my wedding to be perfect? Why do I want to spend so much? Why am I feeling so pressured when people around me talk about it? Why do I get so affected when people suggest or comment on these wedding details? Then it hit me. I had the wrong purpose. I had the wrong reasons. I wanted my wedding to be picture perfect because I don't want people to say negative things about it. I was afraid of what people are going to say. And that's simply wrong. That's not how God designed how a marriage should start. All these preparations and details should first and foremost remind me that this event is such a big one because it is God who designed it. God designed marriage. It's His wonderful plan. And this wedding is a celebration for God. It's a day to honor Him and to thank Him for this union. It's simply all about Him working through Brian and mine's life.
Proverbs 29:25 says "Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe." (NIV). My friend, Ate Van, shared this verse during a devotion earlier today before our band rehearsal in church. Thank God for Ate Van because this verse really made me think about my attitude towards the wedding preparations. It made me realize that I shouldn't go through all these things just because I fear what people are going to say. I don't want to be trapped in that thought anymore. This wedding is for Brian and me...and more importantly about God.
So, this is what I'm going to do now, I'm going to put my whole trust in God that He will keep this wedding safe - away from all the negativity that I think may come, and away from worries. It's going to be tough. But I trust God.
Today, it's exactly 4 months and 4 days before my wedding.
And next week, I'm treating myself to a single's trip abroad to Thailand and Laos :-) It's going to be my last trip abroad as a single woman and I'm looking forward to enjoying this time with my girlfriends Jade and Belle. It's going to be a time of reflection for me, a time to look back and be thankful for what God has done in my life as a single person surrounded by people who love me most.
After this trip, the wedding preparation is going to be on full swing starting with gown/suit fittings for Brian, me and the entourage. I'm so excited! There are so many things to do and I'm quite overwhelmed but I'm not going to worry because I know God will guide me through all this.
Anyway, I'm going to do a little travel post soon about my trip (so, keep tuned :p hahaha).
Guys are getting more and more creative when it comes to their wedding proposals. And girls are crying more and more! Hehehe! For the past two months, I've seen two very fun and creative wedding proposals that gave me goosebumps all over and almost made me cry. Watching these videos just make you go "awww".
Anyway, the first proposal video that caught my attention was Matt and Ginny's. It was even featured in so many news shows almost all over the world. And even on Ellen! Anyway, here's the video:
How special Ginny must have felt! And I really like how Matt approached Ginny's father first and when he said "I know how much she means to me. I know how much you love her. I know she is your heart....I just want you to know that I love her, too. And I am by no means trying to steal her away from you...I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She is my heart, my friend, my everything....She is unlike any other woman I've met in my life before and everything I've always wanted and more...I want you to know that I'll protect her, honor and respect her, treat her the way she deserves to be treated....I didn't event know what real love is but she is showing me and teaching me every day. It might be old-fashioned. It may not even be necessary but it's important to me. And I know it's important to your daughter that I do this, as well. I'd like to have your blessings, sir. May I have your daughter's hand in marriage?" That's so sincere! And I wish them all the best in their life as a married couple. I even subscribed to their Youtube channel to get more updates (soooo cheesy of me! :p)
Then, just this morning, as I logged on to my Facebook account, I saw a video shared by my cousin Darjay with a title "Best Wedding Proposal Ever". And being a cheesy sucker that I am, I clicked it. My office mate already told me about this a week ago but I didn't bother searching for it. Well, apparently my cousin is also a sucker for these kinds of videos, too. Hehe! (*peace, couz*). Anyway, here's the video:
Isn't that sooo cute??? And for the guy to be able to pull off such a big wedding proposal like that, he must've loved the girl so much!!! I also like their song "Everlasting Love". The arrangement was so dreamy like. And I really like how they even orchestrated the fountain! *Sigh*
I really really really like how guys put all their effort into doing all these proposals. Every moment is unique. And no matter how crazy or simple it could get, you'll always end up catching yourself saying "awwww". And of course, I've had my share of that kind of moment, too. Hehe. And each time I remember it, it still gives me that "kilig" feeling. I mean, I never thought that Brian would actually do that kind of proposal :p. I had a feeling that he would propose but all his effort definitely surprised me.
Anyway, cheers to great wedding proposals and a happy and blessed marriage journey for all the couples in the world!!!
Two weeks ago, several days before my birthday, I wrote the third installment for the iDo series here in my blog. I thought I published it. I was even able to view the post but unfortunately, it didn't get saved. Sigh. I felt so frustrated after knowing about it because I poured my heart and soul into writing it. Anyway, I'm rewriting it again. Maybe God purposed it to happen for me to rethink about it - which is actually good because I think I have something fresh to share.
Anyway, the third series of iDo was facilitated by Pastor Carlo and his wife Ms. Leah. The topic was about Communication.
I guess communication is the heart and soul of every kind of relationship. More than the exchange of thoughts and feelings, it's the moment when we feel connected to a person no matter how shallow. Pastor Carlo and Ms. Leah started the session by asking the couples what we think communication is. Taking up a Communications in college, my answer was "communication is trying to convey a message to a receiver while making sure to eliminate or consider the distractions (noise) that may cause a misunderstanding". I totally don't remember the name of the exact communication theory anymore but that's basically what I answered. Pastor Carlo liked my insight of "eliminating distractions" because he said that sometimes, couples have this cloud of ideas, values, events, feelings, etc surrounding each other which may cause communication not to be successful. Anyway, other couples also get to share their two cents worth about communication. One of the good answers was "communication is giving oneself to another person". I like that thought. It made me think of communication as a pure, honest exchange between two people.
But more than what communication is and the process that happens, Pastor Carlo and Ms. Leah stressed that connection must be its goal. Communication happens not just because we want to talk to another person or because we want to settle arguments. It happens because it makes us whole and it allows us to get to know each other.
It made me realize how important it is for communication to happen two-way. It's not just a one-way thing. I can be chatterbox around Brian. Blabbing about things that I feel, my realizations about life, my rants about work, my plans for the future, what kind of invites we're supposed to give out for the wedding...and blah blah blah blah...I feel blessed that I'm able to talk about anything with Brian. Even the nonsense stuff. But am I able to connect with him? Do I allow him to connect to me? Am I able to really listen to him? I mean, REALLY LISTEN?
I guess that's when EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION comes in.Pastor Carlo and Ms. Leah shared with us that there are so many things that come into play during communication. Between Brian and me, I'm really the more verbal kind of person. I know Brian may think I'm a bit pushy because I'm verbally detailed but I learned that the non-verbal also speaks a lot. Our eyes; the way our mouth curves into a smile or a frown; the setting, place, or circumstances we're in; the feelings we have; our past, all come into play. It's like a whole universe of one person colliding or joining together with that of another person. That's why at the end of every thought, gesture, or time spent with another person, one should ask "did I really connect?"
There are times when I feel that no one really understands what I'm saying. I guess that's why I have dreams of me trying to scream out words but it comes out as just babbles. I'm afraid that no one will fully understand what I'm trying to say. But thank God for Ms. Leah's assurance. She said that sometimes, things don't work out well in relationships.Communication breaks down and couples fight. Maybe it's because we try too hard for another person to try to understand us without us trying to understand them first. That's why it really takes a lot of effort for effective communication to happen. Maybe I just need to be silent sometimes to be able to fully listen to Brian. I guess that's what most of us women should do. The men of our lives may only have a few words to speak that's why we should make every effort to listen to what they have to say.
During the session, Ms. Leah and Pastor Carlo also shared with us The Five Love Languages. I already encountered it before but it was refreshing to be able to review it again and put it in the perspective of marriage.
Every person is unique, and so is our way of showing love to people around us, and most importantly to that special someone. Pastor Carlo said that knowing the Five Love Languages can help us understand better our partner. It can help us communicate in much better way because we are able to communicate or show our love to that person in ways that he or she understands most. So what are the Five Love Languages?
1. Physical Touch - an example would be, showing a person you love them by hugging them.
2. Affirmation - people feel that they are loved when they are praised for the things that they do.
3. Quality Time - love is spelled as T-I-M-E
4. Gifts - showering a person with love can mean showering him or her with gifts *BIG BIG BIG GRIN* hehehe
5. Acts of Service - an example of this could be a man cooking dinner for his wife.
So what's my love language? Ms. Leah and Pastor Carlo gave the couples a Love Language personality test and my results showed that it's Quality Time. And amazingly, it's Brian's love language, too :-)
It does take a lot of effort to communicate, to connect, to share. But when you really love someone, that effort to communicate becomes more than just a must. It becomes exciting and it becomes natural.
Brian gave me a shirt on my 26th birthday. It's not just an ordinary shirt because he designed it :-) He made a caricature of me holding a violin - an instrument I learned playing just recently. Anyway, this is so cute 'cause he also got the same shirt for him - which has his caricature, too.
Brian and I are on a roll once again in planning our wedding. We've been putting it off for the past two months because we were busy with fixing requirements for our soon-to-be new home *yay!*. Anyway, God is really good because He's been providing all our needs. I'm just so amazed at how He's working around us. It even leaves me speechless and teary-eyed sometimes.
Work at the office is pretty slow and thank God because I have some time to do research and work out our wedding plans. It was really overwhelming at first because there's a ton of things to do and decide upon. Good thing I came across wedding websites all over the internet to help me plan. But here's the thing...I can't really find an online wedding planning site that actually suits my needs.
Most of the wedding websites that I came across with are based in the US and some of the things included in their checklist, and even their budget planner (which uses US dollar currency), doesn't really apply to me. But I signed up anyway cause I needed inspiration and ideas. Anyway, here's a list of the websites that I found really useful:
1. The Knot (www.theknot.com)
- I like their wedding planning tools because they're very detailed. I find this site the most comprehensive because they've got a wedding checklist, guest list manager (which also allows you to create a seating chart), wedding website builder, budget planner, and even customizable inspiration boards. But the low down? It's US based. I hope some Pinoy Wedding Website developer would come up with something similar.
2. Weddings@Work (www.weddingsatwork.com)
- This is basically a weddings supplier site. It's actually helpful because it has a big directory of every wedding supplier you could ever think of here in the Philippines. This is where I got the news about the first Bridal Fair that I attended. I also like that they have a feature on the legal requirements needed for the civil registry.
3. BridalBook.ph (www.bridalbook.ph)
- This website is almost similar to TheKnot. But what's good about this site is that it's relevant for a Pinoy bride like me :-). But the low down is that they don't have the other wedding planning features that TheKnot has like a budget planner (which I find very important).
4. WeHeartWeddings (www.weheartweddings.com)
- I like this wedding blog because it features more than just a showcase of suppliers. It has stories, tips, ideas, etc. And I like the way they write because they sound friendly. Reading their blog entries makes you heart weddings, too :D
Those are basically the wedding websites that consume most of my internet hours for the past week. And I'm getting excited every passing minute! Wedding day is in six months!
The video above was shown by Pastor King and his wife Ms. Phoebe on the 2nd week of iDo. Everyone was laughing as we watched this during the session. Although it may be stereotypical, I pretty much agree with the illustration. Men and women are indeed different and that's the beauty of God's creation.
During this session, Pastor King and his wife tackled the topic "His Needs. Her Needs." The objective was to help the couples understand how men and women are wired to help address each person's needs and in the end have a more harmonious time together :-) I find this session very helpful because I get to appreciate more how God created Brian. It made me see how unique he is and also, how unique I am.
So what are men's top needs (in the context of marriage, that is)? Here's a not so surprising and some surprising revelations that Ms. Phoebe shared.
1. Sexual Fulfillment. Yup! It's almost every guy's top need. And it's not really surprising. I mean, don't get me wrong but guys are really more physical. But of course, this should be fulfilled within the context of marriage only. What's great about this is that I realized all the more the importance of sex in marriage. Sex is literally the physical aspect of being "one in flesh" (Genesis 2:24). Ms. Phoebe even noted that more than being physically connected to each other, sex is actually communication. It's learning to understand and get to know each other physically and intimately.
2. Recreational Companionship. See here? Guys are really physical! Hahaha. One of their top needs is for their spouse to share in their enjoyment of any recreational activity - be it basketball, computer games, travel, food tripping or jogging. I know, some girls LIKE ME, are not really the athletic kind. But fulfilling this particular need doesn't mean that we have to do what he does. Being a recreational companion could also mean being his cheerleader...which I find really cute. And more than being husband and wife, this helps develop the friendship between a couple. We become each others best friends :-) Brian has been asking me since before to play badminton with him. Laziness seeps in my muscles and almost always I turn him down. But now, I'll try. It will be good for me, anyway. I need some exercise.
3. Attractive Spouse. Well, who doesn't? I don't think this is just a guy thing. I also want my spouse to look attractive. As a wife, it'll show how well we take care of our husbands :-). And for husbands, it'll show how well they also take care of their wife :-). But again, don't get me wrong here. I realized here that vanity is not an excuse for attractiveness. Just as Ms. Phoebe puts it, "attractiveness is what you do with what you have".
4. Domestic Support. Some independent and career oriented women may find this a little too difficult to fulfill for their husband. But the thing is, after a full day of work, guys want to come home to a clean and stress free house. I learned here that guys really consider their home to be their place of rest, where they can relax and recharge. Although I believe that it doesn't mean that the woman has to do everything around the house. Heheh! The husbands need to help, too :-) This particular need makes me all the more excited about marriage. Since I like cooking (and baking!), I want to be able to serve yummy food to Brian :-) I better start practicing now.
5. Admiration. Husbands need inspiration, affirmation and admiration. Who doesn't? I mean, wives need that, too. But for guys, it helps them feel they're doing a good job. It helps them keep inspired to do what they're doing. Sometimes, we girls, always think of ourselves first. I have a tendency to do that. I want to feel admired always. But, thank God, I realized that Brian needs it, too. Although Ms. Phoebe warned us that other people, or women, may fulfill this particular need. That is why, wives should always be their husbands' number one fan :-)
So that's basically a husband's top five needs. It's not really an exact thing. But getting a picture of it helped me understand guys more...and of course, Brian.
Now, it's the women's turn :-) Pastor King share with us some interesting points about what women need. And I really had some "oohhh-that's-why" moments when I heard this. I never really got to fully think about these needs so it's really refreshing to know.
1. Affection. I love hugs. It makes me feel loved. And it makes me feel secure. Maybe that's why girls are suckers for anything romantic. Pastor King even said that affection is like cement. It binds a wife and a husband together. He also noted that sexual fulfillment (for the guys) and affection (for the girls) go together and you can't have one without the other.
2. Conversation. Women like to talk...A LOT! And even for someone as "shy" and "timid" as me (yes, I can be shy with "new" people), I like to talk. I like telling people, who are close to me, what I think, what happened to me, what I feel. And guys need to understand that. Study shows that men use around 12,500 words per day...and for women, we use around 25,000 words per day! That really cracks me up! Maybe that's why we sometimes feel frustrated that men don't seem to understand. Or maybe because we babble too much? Or maybe because our thoughts are not so coherent as the guys? Because women can jump from one topic to another in just a snap?Anyway, the point is, men need to understand that women like having conversations. This is important in marriage because it's a practice of communication. But I learned, too, that women also need to be quiet at times, so we can listen to our man talk :-)
3. Honesty and Openness. I have a big issue with trust. I don't trust people right away. It takes time for me to build on it. But the moment that trust gets broken, it will be hard to get back. Maybe that's why honesty and openness are one of a woman's top needs. It was shared during the session that girls are very detailed. We like to ask questions that sometimes aim to test honesty and openness. Guys sometimes just don't get it. They may think that we're probing. But women need to be assured of honesty and openness. Too much nagging might put a stress on marriage but too much silence may kill it. As Pastor King puts it, "Honesty is the best marriage insurance policy".
4. Financial Support. Pastor King shared that women have this need for money to live comfortably. Not putting too much pressure on the guys, it doesn't really mean that money makes the world go round for us girls. Financial support from husbands give women a sense of security - most especially for the family. But let's face it - money is hard to manage. But I like what Pastor King said about financial stability. He said that there's really no such thing. But there is a thing called financial responsibility. It's learning how to be responsible for the blessings and resources that God gives us. It's stewardship. And this is what I think God is teaching Brian and me, nowadays. That God owns everything. He's the source of our finances. He's the provider of our needs.
5. Family Commitment.Women want their husbands to be the leader of the family. We want the best husband and the best father-leader. Tough call, huh? But I believe it's God who sustains godly men to be as such. It is God who gives wisdom to the husband-father-leader on how they will manage their family. And I will definitely pray to God about this. That He will give Brian wisdom and the strength to lead our future family :-)
Anyway, that's basically it. I learned A WHOLE LOT again for this session. It's just really amazing how men are really different from women. God created each of us uniquely and we may have totally different sets of needs but God's gift of marriage amazingly multiplies these differences into a great and Godly relationship that makes us one.
Not many married couples or soon-to-be couples get the chance to learn the basics of marriage. I mean, do people really understand what its all about? A lot of people plunge into it without really thinking much and there's really no manual or book of law written for couples as a guide. But here's what I know: God has a specific design for it. And I'm just so blessed that Brian and I are able to learn about it through a marriage preparation seminar called "iDo" at VCF Alabang.
"iDo" started two weeks ago. Brian and I would get off work a little bit early to attend the workshop. And honestly, I've always been excited and looking forward to Wednesdays because of this thing. It's very refreshing and it made me realize how much value God has placed on marriage. For the first week, Pastor Chicco and his wife Ms. Mary Anne talked about the Biblical Foundation of Marriage. It might sound too doctrinal but it's actually practical.
Pastor Chicco and Ms. Mary Anne started the session by asking what marriage means to us and what expectations we have for our future spouse and of ourselves as well. Well, I wrote down my answer on my notebook and what marriage for me is that it's a commitment. And that it is a God-ordained relationship between a man and a woman. Brian and I exchanged our ideas and told each other of our expectations. It was actually sweet. And I'm not going to write about it in this blog because that is reserved for just God and the two of us (hehehe!). It was a really good exercise of communication between me and Brian because we're able to lay down our cards to each other.
So the session went on and Ms. Mary Anne showed us what the world views about marriage. Obviously, some people see marriage as living the rest of your life with a special person. Others see it as a convenience. While others see it as a solution to end their problems - may it be finances, personal depression, or getting away from the family. It just shocks me that a lot of people get into this wonderful kind of relationship without actually seeing the reason why God ordained it. They're just missing out on a lot of things and it's very sad.
When I was a kid, I had a romantic view about marriage. Reading about Cinderella, Snow White and Belle meeting their "prince", I've always seen it as being with a person who rescues you and takes you away to live happily ever after. But then I grew up and I've seen that marriage is not really all "happily ever after". Although a lot of women still see marriage as something like that. But according to the Bible, God designed marriage as a gift. A gift for the man. A gift for the woman. It's God's idea. It's God's design. If only people would see marriage as God originally designed it, there would be no broken marriages, no third parties and no accidental marriages.
What I realized during this part of the workshop is that marriage is actually one of the most intriguing yet powerful kind of human relationships. Imagine two distinctly different persons (having different personalities, backgrounds, likes, dislikes, habits, etc) coming together and living as one. It's like trying to mix oil with water. But when God moves into the picture, everything works out. It's like adding egg and vinegar to the oil-water mixture and you've got some yummy mayonnaise - sweet and sour at the same time...(get it? sweet and sour? heheh!)
Pastor Chicco and Ms. Mary Anne also shared with us a nice acronym that describes marriage. And its C.U.P. C for commitment. U for unity. and P for Permanent. What struck me most is the "P" because a lot of people nowadays see marriage as something that you can just end with a divorce or annulment. I think it's just plain stupid. I mean, it's like trying to run away from the consequences of a decision one made - and for this case, marrying the "wrong" person. Maybe this is because people nowadays have grown too "personal" in such a way that there's no more room for another person in our lives. We try to turn that person into someone that would fit our idea a spouse to the point that he/she would lose her individuality. What's always important is what's convenient to us. But marriage is not supposed to be personalized. It's interrelating to each other. It's give and take. And I thank God because I get to understand this concept because I'm able to appreciate and accept Brian more, for how God created him, and for how unique he is.
Another thing that Brian and I learned for this session was about "Leaving and Cleaving". I think this is a very important concept that we Filipino Christians need to understand because in our culture, it's always okay to live with our parents and families even if we're already married. But God designed marriage in such a way that "...a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24 NIV). Maybe that's why there's no such thing as "evil in-laws" in the Bible (hihihi). When a couple lives together on their own, they get to learn how to be responsible and really enjoy the privilege of being together. And I'm so blessed and thankful to have parents who understand this. And Brian, too. During the pamamanhikan, they stressed the importance of finding our own place. I know it's going to be a little bit hard on our own but I know that God's grace and blessings will always be upon us.
Anyway, there are still so many things that I learned from just the first session of this workshop. I could go on and rant all about it but my dream is for soon-to-be married couples to get a chance to experience this, too. We may all have different expectations of marriage. But here's the thing: It's is not all romantic. It may get rough at times but when two people understand how God designed marriage, things work out. It's an everyday decision to commit that each person has to make.
Being a bride-to-be, I'm more than excited to plan for my upcoming wedding. I already bought a couple of wedding magazines, borrowed some from friends, and browsed almost every wedding website in the internet for ideas. Anyway, Brian and I also decided that we should attend Bridal Fairs to help us out with our hunt for suppliers and for ideas. And thank God because I found some helpful Pinoy websites which promoted some Bridal Fairs and one of them was the Weddings and Debut 2011 Bridal Fair held last February at SM Megamall.
We decided to go to the Bridal Fair in SM. I registered online for the event and felt really excited! Brian was also excited and he, too, was doing his own wedding research. Anyway, February 19 came and off we went to Megamall for the fair. I totally had no idea what to expect but seeing the lineup of exhibitors on the website, and knowing about their promos, discounts, and other offers made my eyes sparkle.
We arrived a little before 11AM at Megamall that day. Brian and I went directly to the pre-registered counter to sign up. I got myself a Wedding Handbook and a paper detailing the promos for the fair. I was getting giddier every second! We went inside right away and got greeted by the gowns designed by Edward Teng. My eyes sparkled even more! Anyway, the first flier that was handed to me was of course from Edward Teng's exhibit.
Booth after booth, Brian and I tried to get as much information, ideas, and fliers. Too bad I didn't have a small bag or folder with me to organize all the fliers so I had to carry all of them with my hands. But after about 15 minutes of walking through the first few aisles of the fair, I got a little dizzy and confused! Almost every booth that we passed by handed us fliers, tried to get our contact details, tried to talk to us, tried to get me to try their free makeup, tried to get Brian to sit down to look at wedding rings....gaah! It was so confusing! Everyone was just trying to talk to us! I didn't expect the Bridal Fair to be like that. It was like going to a market place. But thinking about it, it really is a market place. A one-stop-shop for all our wedding needs. But everything around me was just whirling and I couldn't focus anymore. So when a jeweler called us to see their wedding rings and asked us to sit down and have a chat, I gave in. Brian and I needed some rest from all the people trying to talk to us.
After about ten minutes, Brian and I continued to tread our way aisle after aisle.We found some good suppliers and each tried to give us a good deal. I was also very interested in checking out the photo/video coverage exhibitors. That's because one of my top priorities for our wedding was getting a good photo/video coverage supplier. I know that we couldn't afford Jason Magbanua's services or The Mayad Studios (cause they're waaaay too expensive), so Brian and I tried our best to look for good deals with great service and output. We did found some but the thing is, we have to book them on that day. I didn't want to make an impulsive decision so Brian and I decided to let it go. There will be other Bridal Fairs, anyway.
We finished going through the whole Bridal Fair exhibit after about two hours. We tried our best to get as much information and inspiration. We got so tired and hungry after so we decided to have our late lunch at Kaya, a Korean restaurant.
It was actually fun to go through this whole experience of going to a Bridal Fair with Brian by my side. But here are some learnings that I think every bride should know before going to one:
Pre-register for the event. This helps you spare spending a few extra pesos for entrance fees. Pre-registering for the event also makes you a VIP Bride *wink wink*
Research and do your homework. It's important that you know the suppliers who will be participating in the Bridal Fair. Look them up on the internet to get a rough idea on costs, the quality of their service, etc. This also helps you assess which suppliers to prioritize.
Bring the groom-to-be with you. Although it's the maid of honor's job to help you with the whole wedding planning/preparations, it's also best to involve your fiance in the whole process. This helps develop communication between the two of you. Besides, it's his wedding too. And if you need help with carrying all those fliers, he could really give you big help.
Wear comfortable clothes and footwear. Since you will be going through aisle after aisle of wedding supplier booths, make sure you're ready for battle! Wear clothes that you're comfortable with. Footwear is also important cause you'll be walking and standing up the whole time, unless an exhibitor invites you for a little sit-down chat.
Bring water with you. Although the place would most likely be air-conditioned, make sure to bring water with you. You would be talking with a lot of people and you might experience a dry mouth. It also helps keep you hydrated :-)
Never be impulsive. If you don't have a clear idea of how you want your wedding to be like, don't be impulsive in getting suppliers that offer "good" deals. Most often, these suppliers will extend their promos for a week after the Bridal Fair.
Bring a folder/a canvass bag, a notepad and a pen with you. The folder/bag will help you organize the fliers you get during the whole event. You don't want to lose all those important fliers so keep them organized in one place. A notepad and pen comes in handy, too, if you have a particular supplier that interests you. Note them down so you'll have an easier time remembering them.
Take time to talk to suppliers that interest you. Even though you're not really going to book them right away, it's best to talk to suppliers and get them to answer the questions you have in mind. This will help you clear what's included and what's not in their packages. Also, it'll give you an idea or feel of the rapport they have with customers.
So there. I learned my lesson. Bridal Fairs are indeed exciting. But it can definitely go crazy! That's why you have to be prepared for it. And I will be, next time :-).
This is such a blessing. I just downloaded Victory Alabang's Podcast for the Love Life Series and listened to the Love part as delivered by Pastor Sonny. It's the first part in the series and Pastor Sonny discussed the importance of accepting oneself, as created by God and in the image of God. Because when one gets to accept oneself, then relationships work. We won't have to depend on any other person to give us worth because it is only God who can do that. Anyway, what struck me most is when he challenged the single women and young ladies. And here's what he said:
"Young ladies, single ladies, just listen to this. You set the price at nothing less than two words. Before you give everything to your man, set the price at nothing less than two words. Not three words. Just two words. You see, young ladies, I love you is not enough. Don't just believe it. I challenge you....You know what those two words are? it is only the "I do" that will do."
Anyway, listening to this podcast really made my day. I do know that God created me special because He loves me. But realizing and thinking about it all the more makes me feel even more special. And that other people are as special, too. I just hope that more and more people would realize that.
I felt nervous. I felt happy...overjoyed to be exact. I felt tired...because my mom and I cleaned the house to prepare it for visitors. I felt blessed. I felt loved.
I really have no idea what happens during a Pamamanhikan. I only encountered it once before when my Tita got engaged. The only thing that I remember during that time was that my Lola invited us over to their house because there's food (hahah). We didn't really participate in the whole "wedding negotiation/preparation" because only my grandparents and my tito's parents were talking.
Now, it was my turn to experience it...for real.
I didn't go to work that day. My mom and I had to prepare our house - which means it was general cleaning day. It was very tiring. But it felt fulfilling because our house finally got its much-deserved "pampering". We started cleaning the house at around ten in the morning and finished at around four in the afternoon. WHEW! That's how "messy" our house was. And maybe that's why I got allergies after...because of all that dust. Anyway, after washing up, my parents went out to buy some fruits and ice and to pick up Tatay Pidreng and Nanay Abe (my dad's parents). Too bad Nanay Luisa can't come over. We'll just visit her one of these days. As I was waiting for them, I logged on to Facebook to play some games and to relieve the tension I was feeling. My heart was pounding! I totally had no idea what was going to happen. I had no idea of what I need to prepare. Are they going to ask about details of the wedding? The budget? Where Brian and I would be staying or living after? I was so nervous! But also excited. Maybe this is how it will feel like come my wedding day...but maybe a hundred times more intense. *eeeep!*
My mom and dad finally came back to the house with my grandparents. Brian told me they'd arrive at seven in the evening. I was checking the time almost every fifteen minutes. That's how nervous I was. Then Brian texted me a little before 8PM and he said they were on their way. WAAH! They're on their way!
Then they arrived.
They brought in the food.
We sat down.
Pastor Ric, Brian's dad, prayed.
Then the pamamanhikan began.
Brian's dad talked. Much like an introduction. Very formal. He said they came over to our house to talk about our upcoming wedding.
Then my dad talked. He asked us if we had a date in mind already.
Brian answered. He said "around October or November. But we initially want it on November 11." It was a pretty date. 11.11.11. But it seems like almost every other couple who's soon to be wed wants to pick that date, too. So Brian said we'll just move it a week after. 11.18.11.
Then my beautiful lola said "akala ko June na. November pa pala. Ang tagal pa.". She thought the wedding's going to happen this June! My mom and I laughed a bit when she said that. She was as excited as we were.
Anyway, the conversation went on. It was mostly my dad and Pastor Ric talking. And I was just smiling the whole time. Even though I was tired and felt a cold coming in because of my allergies, I was happy. I was joyful and thankful to God that Brian and I are at this point of our lives. Two families joining together. Our parents imparting wisdom. Everyone having a good conversation, having fellowship with each other and thanking God for it.
After the pamamanhikan proper, we finally decided to eat. We were all hungry! Good thing Tita Josie, Brian's mom, prepared everything already as was customary. We had caldereta, piniñahang manok (*gulp* for the piña), and beef with brocolli. Yumyumyum! The funny thing about dinner is that my dad and Pastor Ric were all just talking about church stuff. And none of the supposedly pamamanhikan topics. They jive I guess in that aspect. Even my mom and Tita Josie were talking about church stuff. O well. Pastors and their wives, what more can I say?
Everything was just relaxed after. We had fruits for dessert then coffee. I guess everyone felt at ease already. I was happy seeing all these happening right before me. I was very thankful to God. I realized then that more than the formality of the two families meeting together for wedding preparations, a pamamanhikan is really a celebration and a time for fellowship. It's a time for each family to bless one another and to celebrate the upcoming union of their children. It's the time for each family to thank God and to honor Him with our relationships.
I got engaged last December 18, 2010 to my boyfriend-now-fiance-husband-to-be Brian ♥♥♥
His proposal was the most unexpected, sweetest and the most memorable thing that he did and every time I'd look back to reminisce and watch the video (taken by a friend), I simply catch myself smiling and floating away in cloud nine. The people around us who witnessed Brian's proposal were touched and they all felt our happiness. I'm so happy to have shared that moment with people who understand the true meaning of a Godly relationship.
Anyway, here's the video of that special day. Brian asked his friends from VCF to help him out. They sang "When God Made You" in our church. Although I had a weird feeling that Brian's going to propose already...the minute I saw him walking in the church with a bouquet of red flowers, my heart almost stopped with excitement.
It's also amazing how our friends became part of this whole surprise. They even told me that Brian's proposal was supposed to happen a week earlier. But it got postponed because I didn't feel well and went home right away....Brian already had the flowers ready so he just brought them to my house and "excused" that he bought me flowers because I got sick. Awww...that's sweet ♥
And now...the journey begins. I'm creating this blog to chronicle my journey as a bride-to-be and as a person who would like to share to the world the beauty of love, marriage, and a God-centered relationship :-)
Love Life Series
